"For the LORD is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in You. " Psalm 84:11-12
Psalm 84 is the passage my Bible study book asked me to focus on today and these two verses in particular. This type of verse breaks me and plunges me into despair. I do not "feel" God's favor and honor in my life. It seems as if the opposite is true. Young widowhood. Solo parenthood. Children with special needs. Health problems. Friends that have walked away. I too often see the negative and forget thankfulness for all the ways God has provided, especially through His people. I am more adept at pity than faith. I battle unbelief and pride. I am well aware my walk is not blameless. If I could just do better--be better--maybe God would give me some "good" thing that would compensate for the pain and heartache.
Yet, I know that the "good life" is not what He promised us. In John 16:33b Jesus declared, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." 1 Peter 4:12 pleads, "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed." My difficulties are not what is out of place in life. A life free of hardship is the abnormality. Peter goes on to write in chapter 5 verse 6, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time." God is asking me to humble myself--surrender--and take a small part in suffering in order to reveal His glory and sufficiency.
This concept is incredibly difficult to comprehend. I want to know Christ--I long to Christ--but I do not want to hurt. Philippians 3:10a relates the converse of this. "I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His suffering." Christ was "despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering" (Isaiah 53:3). "he had no beauty or majesty to attract us to Him (Isaiah 53:2) and "we considered Him stricken by God, smitten by Him and afflicted" (Isaiah 53:4). To truly know Him, to share in the fellowship of His suffering, I must walk the same roads He traveled. I must be willing to endure the pain of suffering if He has called me to it for His sake.
Hebrews 11:35b-40 states, "Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put into prison. They were stoned; they were sawed in two, they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated--the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground. They were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect."
My 'trials" pale in comparison to this. They truly suffered and continued to trust. Do I?
That brings me back to Psalms 84:12, "Blessed is the man who trusts in You." Blessed means consecrated, set apart, dedicated to the service of God, sacred, holy, purified, sanctified. Am I allowing the sorrows of this life to purify me, to set me apart for service to God? If I am, then I embody the other meaning of the word "blessed", which is fortunate.
Trust means reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, and surety of a person or thing: confidence. It brings hope. Will I trust fully that through the troubles of this world God will bring me something better in the life to come? Will I trust so His glory may be revealed? Will I suffer so I may know Him?
"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." (Matthew 26:41) "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24)