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The Things We Don't Say



Today I’m sharing a hard poem I wrote, one that has been years in the making. It tells the story of the journey both myself and friends have experienced parenting children with mental health issues.


While the world and the church has become more open about discussing mental health, counseling, and medication for adults, the struggles of parenting children and teens with these challenges has not come to the forefront. The only time the topic is raised when a tragedy ensues. In that moment, the parents are usually the first ones blamed. What is never discussed is how hard it is to get quality mental health care in this country much less community support. Parents are often fighting 24/7 exhausting battles with few resources.


It’s not a feel good poem. It’s not meant to be. It only scratches the surface of the true daily lives of overwhelmed parents who are desperately trying to help their kids. It’s the story that doesn’t get told.


We ride the waves

Halt the spirals

Seek the diagnoses

Resist denial

The things we don’t say.


We set the boundaries

Limits define

Combat their rage

Hold the line

The things we don’t say.


We hide the pills

Stash the knives

Lock the doors

Fear for our lives

The things we don’t say.


We seek help

Strive to comprehend their pain

Hire the professionals

Fire them again

The things we don’t say.


We pursue the placements

Walk the halls

Deal with the discharges

Patch the walls

The things we don’t say.


We try “all-naturals”

Do the meds

Wean on—wean off

Side effects dread

The things we don’t say.


We react and argue in anger

Ache over our failures

Struggle with guilt

Pray for changes in behaviors

The things we don’t say.


We beg heaven for answers

Sob many a sleepless night

Cry out for mercy

Plead for strength to continue the fight

The things we don’t say.


We defend their privacy

Remain inarticulate

Hold ourselves together

Feel empty and desolate

The things we don’t say.



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